M and I are hungry and we are making your pizza in the fridge. But you're having sex and we're not so we dont feel bad.
im probably the most hungover person watchin icarly right now
All i know is we had 4 people on a tandum bike, and told the cops we couldnt stop because our momentum was so good.
If we both finish he brings me a beer and cookies, if only he finishes I get wine and cheesecake. I think I'm in love.
I want to lick his teeth again. Is that a creepy thing to say?
The dorm having an ice machine is their way of inviting us to make mixed drinks.
fuck it. im taking monday off to do some Jagering.
I let a blind guy feel me up. All he kept saying was "oh fuck yeah!"
I felt really bad for not letting her go in, it was like we were dangling lesbians in front of her
He passed out. I tried to set his chest hair on fire.
My entire news feed is ice bucket challenges. I wish there was a hide from feed button like FarmVille
ditto.
about cumming, not toast
walk of shamed to graduation. ending college with a bang....
That's brilliant but could get us arrested. Give me shots until I shout LET'S DO THIS
Turns out your granddad is cooler than you. We're taking him on our New year's eve pub crawl instead. Sorry.
Randomize
