ps i'm pretty sure i was blacked out when we hooked up? good thing i was w. you and not an actual diddler or an organ harvester
Hahaha. Shut up you were blacked out my ass. U were str8 mixin it up with urs truly like it was ur J-O-B
I'm telling lies about you to make you look like a good person
They say rihanna has been dating several mets players. They go on to say that she feels safe with them because they can't beat anybody.
It's sad the highlight of the night was you didn't electrocute yourself again.
New rule : you aren't allowed anything . Ever .
He's covered in dirt and enchiladas. We're going drinking now.
in other news i'm homewrecking via instagram
Koalas always seemed like really high little puppy kittens to me.
You are so lucky you didn't go back to Tate's house. They decided to figure out who had the biggest balls... I was the judge
This is kind of a weird question but were you the other girl Ben asked to do a group sex thing with?
I got laxative. And a toothbrush. Because who wants to buy just laxative on a Friday night?
He asked me if my princess crown was real and before I could say yes, he was already reaching to put it on. I'm pretending I'm asleep if he tries to have sex.
I didn't want to hook up with him so I just jumped out of bed, yelled "I don't even believe in god!" and ran out of the room
He looks like a Mormon from a lifetime movie. Oddly I wanna give him a hand job
thats all i want out of life, to get high and watch weiner dog races
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