I just saw a girl play flip cup with only her tongue
I'm in love
drinking colt 45 because lando calrissian told me to
we'll penetrate his innocence with our dicks
So the next morning, she had to tell her kids we were moving furniture around all night.
I'm sitting in the middle of them on his bed, forcing them to watch Brokeback Mountain. I am the best cock blocker ever.
i just sent him like 8 different sexts and he texted me back about how good the hummus is that i left in his fridge.
You were definitely doing something right. You could only see the colored parts of his eyes a couple of times. I was pretty sure he was dead at some point.
Don't make fun of the drunk girl eating bread out of her pockets. I've been that girl.
Just cleaned someone else's sperm off of my bedroom wall. Never throwing a house party again.
Embrace your curves. Cuz we're too poor for a coke habit.
When you wake up to a porn star on your couch telling you, you better tell your boyfriend about last night.
How do u explain to your grandma that your relationship status is hooking up with randoms at a bar
I don't suppose you have a recipe for a cocktail made of bitter resignation, regretting everything, poor life descisions and deep-seated self-loathing?
Do you knowhow much it sucks to puke in an automatic toilet? Not fun.
Ew.
It takes talent let's just say that
I just used a bag of jelly beans as an arm weight...I'm not sure what to think of myself
Randomize
