does your mom think i'm crazy? i just realized i played both the gay dad and the ex-jew card tonight. i blame the wine
He went so fast i didnt even have time to pretend like i was about to have a fake orgasim
Passed out for 3 hrs til now to wake up naked on my bed covered with grass from drunk slip and slide I would call that success
Threw up 3 times on the lawn mower and then proceeded to crash it into a tree root and break it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She didn't even ask about the dinosaur pinata in my trunk. Like at this point I think these are the things she expects from me
I want to pinterest what I want to do with my pubes. Why isn't there a board for that?!
Somehow he made it really romantic
He came on your tits... That doesn't scream romance to me.
My last 2 google image searches were 'a lot of pudding' followed by 'a generous portion of pudding'
pesky things like morals, self-preservation and cowardice are not needed. overkill is nothing but a word. there will be blood.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hey guys so who is Justin McGoo and why did I text him "fuck yooooouuu juuuustiiin mcgooo" at 12:06am on Thursday night?
Don't trim your pubes if you've been drinking. I can't believe I have to tell you more than once.
I got horny for like a second but the eggplant snapped me out of it
My hands smell like vagina and ham.
I’m torn. She’s crazy - like legitimately “Wear your skin as a suit” crazy. But her blow jobs and dirty talk are Pornhub quality!
Ahhh, beer. My second favorite breakfast drink.
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