We discussed how the marijuana was making the dopamine float around our nucleus accumbens last night when we were high. Yet another example of how our science classes are perverting our good times.
our drinking schedule never changed, we just drank at work.
Just an fyi, teatherball while wasted might be the hardest sport ever.
she told me if people cross their eyes and look at her, they say she looks like megan fox
The cab driver told me he hopes I look up to him as a father figure. Then he asked if I wanted him to take me to the hospital
I'll be there in 5 min. If not, read this again.
just found glitter in my belly button...seriously when will this nightmare end
I just went to pick up my pigeon from your house. You should be getting a picture soon
I really hope you are not drunk feeding a raccoon.
Is adulthood just morning sex and then walking through the grocery store 20 min later looking for something to take to work for lunch?
...and then running into your dad at said grocery store...
And don't try to lose a condom in me tonight. My vagina is not a storage compartment where you can just leave something and try and use it again later in the week.
Oh. My. God. You texted my mom "IM BACK BITCHES!"
I've been called an asshole for a lot of things in my life, but I never thought it would be because of potatoes
If you need anything just hit me up
Pancakes
Noted.
So you're saying that I ended up challenging a dude to Uno then proceed to punch them in the face?
Randomize
