Just saw the homeless asian lady making a hispanic man pull her shopping cart with a harness. I love Boston.
After I told my husband the docter shot me in the ass, he said - oh they can but I can't?!
The vibrator you gave me is probably the one thing I will never give up if we got robbed at gunpoint
I met him yesterday and now he's wanting to hold hands and kiss in public. i hate this
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Where'd you guys get the alcohol from?
Oh. Some homeless guy we picked up from I-70. He bought us $400 worth of alcohol in exchange for a shower.
...... wtf.
FYI I'm about to upload a vid of you to facebook of you screaming "SNACK ATTACK" and throwing cheetos at everyone playing pong...
Oh. And what's the twitter protocol for following the guy you blew behind a shed?
I'm at the hospital waiting for my sister to push out her kid. I think I'll roam the halls and shame all the teenage mothers.
Texas State Troopers call you ma'am even when they arrest you for public nudity and after you've puked on their cruiser. Country boys raised right.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I got head this morning from the 31-year-old version of Jenn. It was like a blow job from the future while a simultaneous blast from the past for 10 minutes.
Munching saltines, sippin Gatorade, and trying not to get eaten by this small horse
Wait. We seriously played strip beer pong at the bar last night. Who said I never came up with good ideas
I know it's just really hard to give up sex and cigs during a blizzard
It's all part of my master plan: have him buy me all I can eat pizza and all I can drink beer AND THEN tell him there was no spark and we're better off as friends.
There might be a dead possum in your bed, your roomate is extremely distressed!
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