I would do things to you that would get us burned at the stake if we lived in a puritan village.
Does having sex in the men's bathroom on the boardwalk count as having sex on the beach?
9 am. shotgunning while conditioning my hair. i love college football season.
easter eggs filled with ecstasy. it's what jesus would do.
Laying on my kitchen floor and the lights just got brighter... I just died or there was a power surge. Based on the amount of booze I drink both are possible.
That works. I won't care. I'll be a mermaid. Mermaids don't give a fuck.
Especially drunk mermaids.
He hasn't texted me back since last week when we sexted. I think telling him I wanted to choke him with chains was a bit much for our first time.
How is it that I, the only one that didn't drink last night, was the only one puking out the car window?
I am having telepathic thoughts with my cat. He loves me and wants me to blow his nose
hey u leave my anime porn out of this
Something I never want to forget. I'm in a porta potty and she is outside knocking on the door going "You're a queen. You're a queen. Never think any different"
Rum and your dick are involved. You're relying on the unreliable narrator.
I blacked out in the cab last night... Cant remember getting in the front door, also i got into bed with my grandma.
There's nothing classy about a pregnant girl at a frat party...remember that.
His junk had piercings everywhere. The dick and balls. It was a fucking pirate penis.
Randomize
