We're like a lot better than the average bears
We walked through the hotel lobby in slow-mo taking huge steps because we were astronauts, and astronauts obviously can't be drunk.
The guy in the library beside me just whipped out an entire loaf of bread, a knife and a container of peanut butter and is proceeding to make multiple sandwiches.
Fun fact: Antibacterial soap will not take the combined smell of bbq sauce and vagina off your hands.
so I woke up without pants, but my cardigan was still on and fully buttoned. curious.
We played shuffleboard at the bar last night...another sign we are getting tooooo old.
All I can think about is getting a lawsuit and chocolate
Im the macgyver of cooling down beers. The toilet tank was blocked so I couldn't use it.....
After we were done the second time she turned to me and called me a Hardcore Armadillo. Also, her O face involves crossed eyes. You tell me.
Bud... Did you mean to tweet a picture of your dick? If not just letting you know.
I don't know which is worse, the fact that his name is Kevin or the fact that he has a pornstache.
How can i make it up 2 u?
DREW I AM SMOKING POT AND FUCKING. WE CANNOT DISCUSS THIS AT THIS PARTICULAR JUNCTURE.
I just discovered that jello shots are the best hangover cure
You said that last night when you did jello shots at 4am
Before making travel and hotel reservations to meet your "affair" for the first time, consult your menstrual calendar! $633 wasted!
wow. that really looks like a penis. not a top hat
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