4:25 am: I want you here. Ugh.
I'm curled up in a ball on the floor of my office with the lights off. I hope no one notices. No more open bar. Woof.
so I guess it's not okay to mix vodka and ..everything and then proceed to offer a lap dance to ...everyone.
I told him I would sleep with him if he could name all the colors of the wind.
Is it bad that your cum tickles when I swallow it?
I bought a 9 dollar purse from payless so if I throw up in it tomorrow, no biggie.
I don't know how I got here... but I think I'm in a Christian Impact meeting... I'm trying to act as straight as possible. They can sense gay.
I thought the cops would know I was on shrooms because I was 10ft tall.
and i'm going to kill you for what you did to my nipples last night. of course i want to hang out
PLAN B IS EXPENSIVE ON A $50 A WEEK BUDGET.
my mom just told me I should hit it and quit apparently she does not like this new girl
I just made a flawless coverstory for why I dont have my car and why I left the party on foot. #adultererskills
I just smoked by myself in my childhood bedroom, how happy does it seem I am to be home for Christmas?
Shooting a bottle rocket from my penis was entirely justified. Twenty bucks is twenty buck no matter how you look at it
Hey when you get home, can you do me a solid and throw one of your pregnancy tests on my bed?
EPT or First Response?
Randomize
