hooking up with chicks might be the way to go after all. walk of shame looks better in her clothes.
it was so cute when you were pretending to have willpower
Pants on the Ground is the theme song of my life
I think need to divide my DVD collection into "movies I've seen" and "movies I've only seen during sex"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
How does me getting a new dildo make you crave olive garden
sitting in the bathroom telling some girl to keep puking or she will die. while holding a beer. nursing school rocks.
Called Jeff last night and told him I wanted to have sex in the airport terminal. Blackout Brooke definitely came out last night.
Wow, I just woke up in this conference with the woman beside me staring at me. This is what happens when hungover people sit in warm rooms...
I love how four vibrators are within reach of me right now, but not a single hair brush or comb
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
you kept saying how you wanted to mainline bacardi right into your bloodstream. medical school is doing wonderful things to your brain
He flew in from NY last night. We had sex in the back of my car in the airport parking lot and then he fed me fresh Babka (from Breads Bakery) as I drove him home. I can't decide if I love him or Babka more.
I let him use my phone and now I keep getting gay cruise ads, I guess he forgot to mention something.
If you're going to be single forever, you should try the quesalupas at Taco Bell.
Going overboard is basically 75% of my personality
I'm a gorgeous hot mess
Not to be gross and awkward, but I just had sex outside in the rain on the hood of a lexus
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