If there was chocolate on Regis Philban's dick, I would totally lick it off. That's how desperate I am for some right now.
So what's the moral of this story? Aside from 'lesbians hold grudges'?
If I pass out leave the food near me so i can wake up to it
I can't believe he would be such an ass
Your boobs are way too big for you to be worrying about anything.
Its like after 6 beers, the clap doesn't scare me anymore.
she sent me pictures of 3 different vaginas and if I could pick which one was hers i could sleep with her.
I was always good at matching as a child.
I don't know if I have the sustained energy level for partying hard
Not a choice. You are mistaking my comments as options. My statements are facts. This is what is happening.
My vag has a bald spot. That is so middle aged. Is this my midlife crisis?
They wouldn't serve more then two Shots per person, so you grabbed a group of strangers and said u werre buying them all shots, then proceeded to drink all of them.
i want to go make food but i'll have to face my mom after telling her that the random i'm sleeping with, whose name i don't know, told me I was "too slutty to be his girlfriend" when i was drunk last night
Let's buy some Wrangler jeans and be real live men.
You know you're doing college wrong when you have to bail your RA out of jail
Maybe you can just make seal noises during sex and we can call it good
Fuck you. Fuck this party. I just wanted to be pretty with a cute little tiara and boys sucking my tits, now i have a hangman game drawn on my face and jello shots in my hair.
I wanted to give you a great birthday party. You know I did.
Sorry I had sex in your backseat while everyone was in the car
It's quite alright. I found his shorts in my backseat, not sure what he was wearing when we dropped him off
Randomize
