My tally is now official: I have been drunk every weekend since 2008. Cheers.
when i start to cry when i lose at mario kart is when you should put me to bed
she just gave me a present from you... on a stripper pole. in front of the whole club. :)
WHY ISNT THIS A PICTURE MESSAGE
Well as our DD it was my responsibility to get us home safely. If that meant strapping you down to the backseat using all 3 seatbelts then so be it.
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There's sex hanging in the air like a pinata. European people are no joke.
My bullwhip has saved my life tonight and gotten me laid. I'm gonna be Indiana Jones every Halloween!
i just keep picturing us drunk surrounded by kittens.
Until she magically finds a brain, I'm going to be a dick. Fair trade. She's a idiot, I'm an ass.
It's a never ending cycle of men I've fucked knowing other men I've fucked. I need a new town.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
First stoner thought of the day: Life would be so much better if there were more things that were biscuits and gravy flavored.
feelin groggy baby? need a coffee? vitamins? a nice good fuck on the piano?
Are there any rules against fucking the hot TA?
Maybe for her....
Her problem, not mine
No sorry. I may be a happy drunk but my gag reflux is an angry drunk.
Just got home from work. I'm going to change into sweats for a while before I have to wear normal pants to the party like I promised.
The closest thing I've had to an orgasm lately is sneezing nonstop from fucking allergies.
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