At some point I made a semi-conscious decision that i was okay with sleeping in my own vomit.
As gay men are we obligated to learn the Single Ladies dance.
he had a sign stolen from the tennis court hanging above his bed that said, "please limit play to one hour while others are waiting"
The only word I understood in that whole setence was semen.
At least I wasn't still dressed as a bottle of dom perignon when they took me to the ER
We did nothing beneficial to ourselves, or our country last night.
all I know is I'm really rwfly really really stoned and a bunch of Korean people are yelling at me
I look like slutty woodland creatures dress me in the morning. Everybody's got problems.
Our relationship is representative of a cognitive bias that leads to bad decision making and misplacement of resources. So should we pick up some whiskey tomorrow?
After he came, I wiped my mouth on my baby blanket. I could feel nana rolling over in her grave.
WHAT IS PROPER BONG ETIQUETTE FOR WHEN YOU'RE ALONE IN YOUR BATHTUB AND CRYING?
I just saw a guy in a hazmat suit riding a tractor.
No like I actually peed on the treadmill. As it was running
Just remember, it's never too late to make a porno
Just a typical Friday. Dinner, drinks, doing lines with a member of Congress
Randomize
