David Carradine died? Should I be thinking about this 10 min before my interview?
Haha just ref him when they ask a questin about kung fu which they will since ur Asian
What can i say im a girl who smells like weiners.
He IMed me 5 times, before my homepage even loaded. This is not gonna work out for me
Lauren will drop me off I'll be drunk ride you for a little bit and then you can go to sleep
sorry. that wasn't for you
It's cold our but I feel like a very blazed penguin
What I dont get, is for a man with a penis his size, to choose to go back with another girl instead of one that he says is the best sex he's ever had. He cant afford to be picky.
There is a different car in my driveway. Have no clue how I got home.
I don't care how many kiddie pools are in our house. One is too many.
My hickies are dark enough that I can feel drivers judging me from across an intersection
i would rather have had this happen at a time when i wasnt tripping out on shrooms
Just to be clear, the only reason you're allowed to scream "COCKTAIL SERVANT" at bartenders is because you have nice tits
After hearing her fall down in the shower for the third time, I decided to go check on her.
Woke up with champagne in my hair and honey mustard on my hands. Strangely, I'm okau with this
I should not be allowed to reproduce. The world doesn't need my sarcastic asshole demon spawn in child form
You know. You being in a happy healthy relationship is REALLLYY cutting into our drinking alone together time.
Randomize
