i'm sitting in the library realizing that the 2 most productive things i did this weekend was have sex and go to the liquor store...
dinner with the girl I motorboated last semester wasn't as awkward as I thought it would be
is it bad that listening to the rabbi's wife talk about how we should only be with one person is making me really, really horny for no string attached sex
His beard is glorious and he smells like barbecue. Introduce me to him.
she made sit in a corner, drink nothing but water and told me she was worried about me because i picked up an irish guy at a taxi rank. says the girl who invented tequila night and fucked a guy in a park across the street from a sweet sixteenth.
Human Centipede: The Drinking Game. This is non-negotiable. First one to pass out the rest of us get to FEEEEED THEM!
can we get vodka so I have an excuse for being an emotional wreck
Last time I sleep with a guy with a penchant to fragrance his dick. Every time I sit to pee, I get a whiff of Axe body spray.
The bar has bullet holes in the ceiling, and the country singer had been playing drunken weezer covers. A man just bought me a beer on the grounds that I 'have his back' in a fist fight with a stranger texan. And, yes, the bartender is wearing a sherif's badge
These bubbles make my penis feel like it is resting on clouds.
A gay guy went down on me in the club bathroom and then fixed my makeup for me
its gonna be a great night
i always handshake my one night stand, im classy like that.
I'm so high right now that I winked back at a character in this TV show.
I didn’t not spend thanksgiving morning making out with him in a diner parking lot
yeah we're all naked, and I think we just shaved Chad.
Randomize
