he asked me to help him wrap his girlfriends birthday presents. Dont worry we fucked right after.
Is it just me, or does Colt McCoy look like Herbie the Dentist from "Rudolph the Red-nosed Reindeer"?
please remind me not to sleep with group members until after finals week.
all of his pictures were taken on a library computer, how did you even consider fucking him?
Oh, and no balcony sex...trust me.
Look if you're not going to be mine and take care of my needs, I'm going to fuck your sisters.
I made my own utility belt like Batman. It has a cup holder for my beer, cell phone holder, a little pocket for condoms, and a sewing kit just in case.
Buying her a drink is like giving a seagull a French fry, all you're gonna do is get annoyed and shit on
I am naked in a blanket sprawled on my bed eating a pastry. This is all I want out of life. Ever.
His mom said he was in the ER and asked for prayers and positive thoughts. Apparently, me wishing the clap on him is not what she had in mind.
so the casino kicked my ass last night, i'm pretty sure i hit a new level of hungover....just showered with my sunglasses on because the bathroom light is too bright
She said she was sorry for rolling around in her own vomit. Honestly, I thought it really added to the party.
I should be in a better mood, I just went home and had a quickie on my lunch break.
I had a sandwich.
You offered him a “Sorry I Blew Your Brother” Blowjob. How does that make it right?
I promised him it would be better than the one I gave his brother which is really nice of me since their actually only half brothers and his brother is cuter
We hotboxed his bathroom. going to be a good night
Hotbox went wrong - smoke sets off fire alarm. Firefighters coming
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