your butthole totally puckers for the ginge
I just projectile vomited in a Methodist church parking lot. If Jesus didn't love me before he sure as hell doesn't now.
You know im sick of people that are still obsessed w obama. that was sooooo last year
Just watched a guy pause a bluetooth convo to puke outside of esso. gotta love orangeville
How many 'remember name' entries is it inappropriate to have in one's cell phone?
I'm scared at the amount of beastiality in this conversation.
He has to watch his girlfriends kitten. Even when she is in Vegas, her pussy keeps him from getting into mine.
For the record, saying you're friends with the owner doesn't work when the owner is the one throwing you out.
Please tell me your aunt didn't see the Brita pitcher full of condom wrappers. We had at least 100.
Ugh. my cast still smells like fermenting hot tub water and bad decisions.
Also, we just got yelled at by a cop for being awesome...or making out in a fountain. Whatever.
Once he blows his load, he's more of an immediate flight risk than that jetBlue pilot. He's out the door before his cum is out of my vajayjay.
She took all the bottles out of the shower caddy and replaced them with booze. I just made a shower Manhatten. Imma marry this one.
I'm so horny right now but I JUST put my fuckin lasagna in the oven
The shower rod just came down while I was pooping. I caught it though and the curtain stayed on, so I'm not sure if it's a good or bad omen for the rest of my day
Randomize
