come downstairs quick. our boyfriends are having a dance off in nothing but their underwear and shoes. and they have semis too.
Rub youre cunt and tell me you love me.
Your incorrect use of you're doesn't arouse me in the slightest.
I had to fart so bad so i let it go hoping it would be quiet, it was loud and shit came out!!! and i couldnt leave because her parents were behind me
Anything that's based on a blow job I'm in favor of.
turns out they were just sand fleas, not crabs.. thank you random mexican girl from padre who's name i can't pronounce
Nyquil jello-shots aiding in health and happiness
Somehow "stranger danger" turned into making out with a 25 year old on burbon street.
You wouldnt be able to explain the can of green beans in my mailbox, would you?
We had a 30 min conversation last night about whether or not to bone that girl with a lisp to see if she moans with one...
My roommate was tripping balls last night, he kept me up all fucking night
Roommate? Please tell me you're not calling your cat your roommate
she said she wouldn't go home with me until she looked up my name in her sex offender app. do i really give off that vibe?
Yeah. It's not just the beard either.
He wants another date...I mean he's cute, but I just am not ready to give up my glamorous single-girl lifestyle here.
you mean the one where you drink out of the carton and don't wear pants?
Yeah, and pee with the door open. It's the little things.
He washed his dick in my kitchen sink after sex. I think he might be a keeper.
Riddle me this: How does one check in at the Marriott, but wake up at the W?
DIBS on your mom for my beer pong partner.
Randomize
