i just found a plastic monkey in my sweatshirt pocket
Umm I had a plastic mermaid in my pants......
Really
You win
did you seriously just ask me if there is such thing as a sophisticated batman shirt?
You kept whispering, no one does me like Jimmy Johns does me.
The online application for Mcdonald's said I could do incredible things there. Today I threw out shit filled underwear in the women's restroom and escorted a very drunk/high 42 year old man outside after he ordered a 5 dollar foot long and a bloody mary.
The google font looked peculiar last night, but then up close I realized it was just dry vomit.
Found a pint glass in my snow pants.
you covered his dog in toothpaste. safe to say hes not gonna call you.
Worst case scenario: I have VD and will die. That's the worst that could happen. As long as I'm around long enough to see the winner of bachelor pad, I'm cool
Playing basket ball at the park with random people that showed up at 1am. the division of teams is based on what drugs people are on
You need to let me be on top sometimes. I gotta get rid of these love handles
I don't think I can recall what a 23 year old cock felt like if one slapped me in the face.
Things are coming back to me in chunks. I vaguely remember signing a shirt that said 'I enjoy vagina'
I AM SO PROUD OF YOU
Would it be totally wrong, that in honor of princess leias death, I role played as her??
That's the only way to watch Gumby. Either age 5 or high.
when some dude came up to you and said he didn't like your shirt you just looked at him and firmly asked if he really thought that you gave a fuck.
Randomize
