No awkward lesbian experiences without me
i feel like im doing the pre-walk of shame..like every car that drives by is like, ooooo look at that girl, in that itty bitty dress, yep shes about to get her skank on tonight...
I caught myself masturbating while watching a baseball game today. It was over before I realized what was going on. And then I was just confused.
if i hear one more christmas song, i will fucking shoot myself.
Side note: I think I fell asleep holding a cereal box
Oh. And what's the twitter protocol for following the guy you blew behind a shed?
we're like Indians of the 21st century. trading not for food and survival but personal gain and by trouble you mean getting daytime drunk and going to the roller ring then yes.
When I don't want to forget things I put them on my cigs.
C smoking isn't all bad
I just told him I want him to "take the reins". At least its festive sexting?
They invented a new game at work. Its called guess if I'm baked, hungover, drunk, or some combination of the three. Its surprisingly very difficult..
Trying to figure out if the guy I'm with right now is the same guy I met spring break
Oh duude it is the guy from spring break! Awk.
He wins the giant teddy bear for getting the neuva ring on the dick
Fuck I forgot the furry convention was this weekend and now I'm downtown. Way too high for this shit.
One minute we were ordering sandwhiches. The next hes peeing in a trash can yelling at kids about how tv made him this way
Why is there a mildly painful bruise on my back?
You slipped off the sink last night.
Why was I on the sink......?
;)
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