My brain says no but my pants say off.
Just took career test that listed librarian and bartender as top career choices. Fascinating.
Making a drinking game out of jeopardy does not mean you studied..
Yes I want to fuck your friends but it's out of respect and love for you.
Eating this pizza pocket is like eating out god
Dude how did you get resin on my keyboard?
I was the only one at the party that didn't get their name taken by the police. I'm convinced that I'm the main character of Ferris Bueller's Drunken Adventures.
There was another blizzard last night and at one point I was drinking 3 beers at once. Driving home didn't seem like a wise option
Sorry about coming to the pool in only a thong. I thought you said it was closed. Not that you were teaching a group of kids how to swim.
Because she seems like the type to give it up for a box of fruit rollups.
He was only in jail for 4 hours before he was someone's prison wife
Interesting. All i can really say is humanoid shaped doritos bags melting very slowly
A+ Viking dick
Idk why more people don't drink at work ... i mean, yeah, the cash might be off tonight, but my customer service is fucking phenomenal right now
Good news!! I can adult!! 😂 turning down the strip club on a weeknight has become my crowning achievement ðŸ˜ðŸ˜‚
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