I'm sorry that you just had your first misguided homo experience
I woke up and my panties were thumbtacked to his wall. Out of my reach.
He's married, but his wife isn't my neighbor so I don't feel bad about coveting him.
And when I look at him, I just want him to say "I love you" in between deep thrusts and hard grunts.
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We've made a drinking game out of how many times the tornado sirens go off. We're good at tornado safety.
he wrote me a grocery list while i was passed out. every other item was gin. it went on for 4 pages.
He pulled the washer 5 feet out from the wall screaming about quarters
all i remember of last night is that i was drinking jameson and then NOTHING i do remember walking a dog though\nwhich is sooo fucking weird
OH MY GOD ITS COMING BACK I PUT THE DOG IN THE HOTTUB TOO
This is just what we do. We meet guys, go back to their place, smoke all their weed & go home to compete in out own version of Cupcake Wars.
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Using our apartments online floor/space planner to see how many beer pong tables we can fit. Dont think they had this in mind when they put this thing online.
Probably not lol but were fitting as many as possible
Stop trying to get a gf and raw dog some forest beasts like sasquatch
You get 5 min
Your time limits don't scare me, I'll include foreplay and redressing in that 5 min. If you wanted to challenge me you should say you got an hour, id be scared then and more creative.
I'M TRYING. TO WATCH. PORN. PLS HAVE UR IMPORTANT DISCUSSIONS ELSEWHERE FUCKERS
I left my red butterfly dildo laying on my bedroom floor this morning....my landlord is currently showing the house to people. Fuck can't ever face him again.
I really wish you were home bc youre the only friend I could ask to use an at home waxing kit on my vagina. I need you.
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