3:12 am: but i thought i was coming over tonight, don't fall asleep i wore new underwear
member when we used to take shits together before volleyball games?
just walked past a girl in her cap and gown puking her brains out beside a tree. her friends were taking pictures of her.
Believe it or not I'm actually not the only person sitting in the back of the train covered in glitter and drinking whiskey out of an arizona iced tea can. Small world.
I AM NOT THE MAN IN THIS RELATIONSHIP.
It's shit like this that makes people think we're gay.
She sat next to me on the couch and said "word going around is you got a sweet cock". My nickname problem was solved!
Drank for free all night and I'm not even sleeping w the bartender. What is this magic?
Two days later and my throat is still sore. That bong is a double edged sword.
She ran from her surprise party screaming "I'm not ready for an intervention." Yeah, the girl has a problem.
He is currently passed out on his toilet. Point day drinking.
My boss want to throw me an everclear birthday.
Good god, my descendants are going to be fucked.
I am watching a girl dressed up as santa, full on fat suit, try to fight a six foot 200lb man. A reindeer threw beer on everyone. Shit is going down
QUIT BEING A BITCH, DRINK SOME PEPTO, AND PUKE ON OUR FOES
You kept on yelling traitor and threatened to kill him and everyone he loves because he played beerpong with someone else
Randomize
