Getting food. Want anything?
Vagina. Double meat no buns. I have the secret sauce
I heard Topanga got a DUI. I need that mugshot asap.
Do you know my vagina holds 14 pints of water?
Good thing you left when you did - ended up getting banned from jimmy johns.
Only in college do people pre-game a meteor shower
Woke up on the kitchen floor cuddling with the dummy we made of you. Hope your internship is going well.
Sometimes one must go to great lengths and make great sacrifices to get drunk. I willingly accept the challenge.
This is now the friendly bartender typing for him. He wants to be on you. He is going to "destroy your vagina". Good luck and sorry if this woke you up!
Swear to god our friendship has its limits. Stop peeing on the fucking refrigerator.
Sorry, but when you makeout with a guy in a panda suit, you know something has to change.
Do I like my job? I just bought 1/2 oz of pot from my supervisor at work. At a discount. And he said, "pay me whenever."
The only good thing about the sex was that he finally cracked the spot on my back that's been hurting.
he accidentally put it in my ass, i liked it but didn't tell him that and "accidentally" took his weed.
you face planting the wall was epic
did you at least save my tooth
He sent me a website link to GIF on Snapchat. I don’t think he understands how Social Media works.
Randomize
