Who is this?
Who do you want it to be?
Sarah Palin
I've got the updo, bangs, and glasses, but I'm blonde
In a few years, 50 babies 50 states. Like it?
It wasn't long before I skipped the martini glass and went straight to drinking from the shaker.
the trash is collected at 5:50 on mondays. i was up puking all night and heard them
I really super glued a paper bow tie to my body last night. I need to do less drugs.
Aaaaand that would be the most of my hand I've ever fit into a vagina before.
YOU STOLE THE WEDDING CAKE?!?!
Only one tier
Tastes like cardboard anyway
I've literally never felt worse
My body feels like its decomposing
This drive is very scenic
And I'm chugging whiskey in the back
As you should, soak in all this country has to offer
I just took the soggiest of beer shits and all i have to eat is shredded cheese and more beer. I need an adult.
A milkman. But instead of milk I'm delivering marijuana. And instead of a milk truck it's an armored car.
You're a weed delivery man, in an armored car?
She's passed out with a slice of pizza between her boobs should I just eat it and leave
All I know is that I got to have an orgasm yesterday during sex so nobody can put a damper on my day, NOBODYYYYYY
Jungle juice breakfast? No? Ok.
I think I broke my dick but 10/10 would definitely do it again.
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