Just invented new drinking game watching Hocus Pocus... everytime they say "virgin" wetake a shot and yell out "to j****"
and then they started calling me 'Shitshow Shandra', which apparently i took as a compliment.
With any luck I will spend the duration of this flight with my tray table up my seatbelt securely fastened and my face in his lap
Friends help friends remove their foot from the sunroof after an epic smoke sesh.
The nurse gave me a funny look when I said I thought I have an std in my throat. Bet she only does it missionary too
THERE IS SOMEONE IN MY CAR MILKING HERSELF AND TELLING ME TO TRY IT
He is such a generous lover, I can look past the fact his name is fucking Bob.
I'm fucking sick of guys. I think I'm going to date myself. No drama. And I know I'll always put out.
HE BEAT A GUY WITH NOTHING BUT RAZZLE DAZZLE AND HIS FABULOUSNESS
So what other shows do you masturbate to? Or is it just friends
I went to a party last night....I stole all of their ornaments and the toaster oven.
I just watched will sing pure imagination from willy wonka and then blow a banana
who knew rolling through the dorm on a scooter in footie pajamas would attract so many guys. he said i'm his soulmate.
He asked if I could not say his name during sex cause he liked the girl in the apartment above me.
I've finally become one of those chicks with a taco in her purse.
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