It's what's on the inside that counts(972): They probably have big open vaginas so the inside is no good
Do you remember last night at all? Be honest
I need to look at the pictures on my camera to fill in the gaps.
remind me to tell you about the ham sandwich empire im building
So yes, he's hot, a scorpio, an artist and a perfect cock. I think my bi train just arrived in gay town.
Played "Which Couple Will Take Me Home Tonight" at the bar last night... I can now cross three-some off my bucket list
Set off the fire alarm in our dorm at 2:30 am last night. 150 Naked people wrapped in towels shared a bag of popcorn with me as we watched the firefighters frantically search for my burnt popcorn in the building.
OMG THAT WAS YOU?!
i chugged some hot sauce before i gave him head. i think a burning penis is a great way to say fuck you
Spent the entire ride home from downtown trying to convince designated dawgs to drop us off at waffle house instead of our apartment. i told them it was my house...they didn't buy it.
I will seriously deflate and melt into the floor into a puddle of devestation, shame and vodka.
I'm smoking a bowl and pondering why we haven't discovered teleportation again.
Dude, it's not gay. It's winter.
You have no idea the kind of bodily contortions I had to do to access your neighbor's WIFI
IF THE GUY WHO I AM BORROWING OUR CAR FROM FINDS ONE CONDOM OR JIZZ STAIN IN THIS CAR HE IS GOING TO CASTRATE MY ASS. SERIOUSLY, DON'T FUCK IN THE CAR.
My dad called me in the middle of the night, drunk on vodka, asking for references on the Irish alphabet.
I am mentally ready for anal.
Randomize
