my penis was classy and tasteful, i don't know what her problem was.
Just got laid for the first time in 3 yrs, 10 mo, 1 wk & 2 days. YESSSS.
also: i found my "nug jug", actually the baby did, but either way it got returned to its rightful owner
we found you in the closet, clutching coats that werent yours for stability
Staying in I think. Boyfriend has domesticated me. I'm making eggs naked right now. Also really high.
No. My vagina is not the scapegoat for your poor decisions.
So I passed out with my boxers on in the hotel jacuzzi at 5am.. The manager who kicked me out was pretty cute so I left my name and number for her at the front desk. I'm giving it a 50/50 she calls.
well, the two that sent pics I've already been with, so at least its not just BAM HERE'S MY PENIS IN YOUR INBOX ENJOY THOSE MEGAPIXELS
the lesbians just got naked and went into the ocean... this never happened when i was a camper.
I just compared his sexting to a plate of spaghetti. And he STILL wants to sleep with me.
I taught her to play Monopoly. She sold me her bra to keep from going bankrupt.
It's hot as dicks out. Lets get drunk on the roof and make pterodactyl sounds at people.
I asked him if we were going to get arrested for doing it in the bar parking lot. "Absolutly not" said the guy getting the blow job...
I miss you.
Yeah, I don't want to have sex.
Drinking wine while working. Yay.
Just had sex at the YMCA.
We are so productive today.
Randomize