I have this horrible feeling I'm going to blackout tonight & only be able to say 'wasabi bobby' over & over again.
How long until YT realizes that it's a man?
I shaved my pubes to make my cock look like it has a lions mane. to surprise the girl that works at the zoo when she comes over.
this is like black Friday for my dealer. I'm literally standing in line.
and then some norwegians asked us to be in their porno.
you want your laptop back?
are you giving me my laptop back, or cashing in on our break up sex?
both.
come over.
Selling drugs in raindeer antlers is the best way to spread christmas cheer
Also I had a dream we made my birth control into a joint. What does that mean?
Oddly enough I feel totally fine now. Clonazapam and red bull the breakfast of champions.
Idk I was embarrassed that I hit it too hard so I played it off by spitting out bong water like a 'whales blowhole'
Dude your life.. At your sugar daddies house sending nudes to your fwb
You threw up on his face 22 hours ago and now he's here holding your hand. I think he likes you.
Heeyy... sorry I got so drunk. You probably don't ever want to see me again. Thank you for dealing with me when I tried to jump over the deli counter for some mayonnaise.
Should I be worried if two ants just crawled out of my purse?
Yes!
cinco de mayo stole my toenail
cinco de mayo stole my virginity.
Randomize
