he's having a long distance Facebook-coordinated power hour. the status update has 159 comments ...
You proceeded to call me a hoe and then informed me that Bear Grylls is and always will be more important than I am to you.
i looked up his schedule, waited outside his classroom, and handed him the receipt for plan b
do you think having her use a clorox disinfecting wipe on her vagina will keep me from getting her herpes if I don't have a condom?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Someone left a beer in front of your door...there's a note with it that says "peace offering"
We snorted a line of cocaine and xanax, and then played a game of Backgammon. It was surprisingly therapeutic.
Questioning the dried heart shaped nutella on my boobs. Valentines day has begun.
You know those creepy dolls that look like they are watching you from anywhere in the room? It was like that, but with his penis...
Dear lord though. So much glitter. It's just a big gay explosion and all of my whore muscles hurt.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
New game I thought of while bored on the train. Anytime I get a text from an ex, I will randomly text a different ex. It's like a less charitable version of pay it forward.
I am going to be so excited tomorrow when I find this box of crayons in my purse
I'm gonna play eenie meenie at the bar tonight because it's women's day and I deserve the dick
falling asleep on a hardwood floor changes a person
Also I like oatmeal more than sex.
I woke up using a beer can as a pillow. successful party?
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