Alex, there's no such thing as a fancy sex store.
Yeah, I have to wait a few months then take a sample in, I asked the doctor if the sample could be wiped off my wife's back...i told her he said face only.
I just wanted to hook up with a white guy to prove that i could go back.
You only ask me to come over when your gf is gone, and thats usually at midnight to cook chicken salad and watch you pass out
the only good thing about him lasting five minutes was that nobody thinks i had sex with him or that im a slut because we were only in the bathroom for five minutes
drunk waterpark is besst waterpark.
I feel like I'm full of double a batteries and cocaine.
Realistically anyone can come I don't care it's Boston what do I own boston? No. I just don't want people who are gonna give me "why are you doing that" kinda look when I take birthday shots out of my birthday babe shot glass necklace.
Almost just bought a peacock. I need to get off Craigslist
I just stabbed open a can of Spaghetti Os with a spork. Who says I cant take care of myself?
Woke up in a pile of people on the floor. His dad was already up and ask me to help him cook bacon because "7 lbs can be a mother fucker"
I either need to get adopted or have someone's baby, but I'm joining that family
It was like getting a handjob from a frost giant
I'm just gonna start letting dudes eat it. American idol for my vagina
Summers almost over and we haven't golfed, got naked or had sex yet. Let's do all three in one day, no particular order.
So, my first week in Saskatchewan ended with me drinking moonshine and getting eaten out in a tractor. I already love it here!
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