My right nipple has been called many things but never a ghost pig
shouldn't i get a discount if shes pregnant?
Found a waterbottle filled with a bloody mary in my purse this morning. Blacked-out me is always trying to help hungover me, it's so cute.
just woke up to two already rolled blunts and a full explanation of what happened last night. I love my gf
when i woke up this morning i blew my nose and ash came out.. i'm not sure what to make of this.
Sitting here wishing there were men in my life.
me too. too bad ive decided to fill that hole with cookie dough, closing the door to future men one fat cell at a time.
apparently there was a flour fight and couch sex...
its really sad that i have to specifically make this a rule but, absolutely no lighting smoke bombs indoors at my birthday party.
I puked in my fridge last night while I was trying to get water
True. On an unrelated note I helped post bail for both of our ex girlfriends last night. Russian roulette: guess which one is pregnant?
Why the fuck is he under my phone as Papi Chulo?
We broke the bed while I was handcuffed to the headboard and let's just say that was a hard one to explain to the RA
He forgot how to sit. we had to pick him up and set him down.
Can you dump a guy for having pierced nipples or is that shallow?
I’m tired of his bullshit and premature ejaculation. I’m going to hotel bars and finding a guy who is DTF
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