maybe i get so drunk and make stupid mistakes cuz Subconsiously im preparing for my real world debut
I just want a better ending for myself. Not walking around with one sock on and my bush hanging out.
Just blew a perc off the traytable on my flight, spring break has begun!!
I was batman and I saved her. Then we had sex on a rooftop.
My first sex dream, I blew myself. Yours definitely wins.
But i don't feel like talking to him right now. I woke up an hour ago to a picture of his penis and I AM NOT A MORNING PERSON.
I inspected his penis with a mini flashlight to check for visible stds...he was clean
Fantastic. I'm pretty cold, tired, dirty, and hungry, but that comes with an adventurous weekend. Who needs a wallet or keys anyway? I could totally be homeless.
Is it frowned upon to bring a flask to the er?
I had to hypnotize my roommate last night so there's that.
How do we have all these hot friends who we never do body shots off of
I walked in describing her boobs thinking I was talking to you only to hear dad say 'I remember when your moms were like that'. ALWAYS tell me when they get home early. Always
You're an adult now and it's your vagina. You should do what it or you wants.
I mean there are real risks associated with having unprotected sex, but I don’t think I need to worry about a ghost possessing me and having unprotected sex while using my body
She shit herself again. We're calling her the "Queen of Sharts".
I ate at the cafeteria for the first time yesterday and today I think I had an hour long fart.
Randomize
