drug dealer added me on facebook, win ?
omg no way im finding him!
he has no pics of his face, and im always drunk so i cant remember if hes cute or not, but he told me im in his phone as "party girl" which is fitting i guess cause im dragging my hungover ass to buy preggo tests, and i had to get the cheap ones cause i blew all my cash on coke.
you opened the fridge, pissed on the food, fell over, then threw up on yourself. thats whats all over the kitchen.
You know we had a good night last night when today I opened up my Google Translate application and the language is set to Persian and the phrase to translate is "I want you to suck my dick".
I like how he had to correct himself in stating that I was the fat one in the threesome.
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That's what tomorrow is for. It's like bloodletting. Except with shame and liquor.
Would it be appropriate to cancel a hookup to watch the golden globes?
absolutely. tina fey and amy poehler trump everything.
I thought my ass was sore from the gym then I realized it was from being spanked. Confusing time in my life.
Now accepting any stories about my adventures last night, in particular why my knuckles are bleeding.
his first fb message to me in 3 years was "is your cock open for business?" im blocking him
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I just bought a blender and 120 pizza rolls. Bring tequila.
It was a recodring of you having sex ! It was like an ape and a dying mongoose at a buffet Xoxoxo
He had a clap on lamp. So every time he was ramming into me, the lights kept turning on and off
I swear it’s like he’s filling my soul via my vagina
i have a lot of questions about the picture quality/lighting/motion/gravity of the balls...
But seriously like how many girls do you know that will do that on the first date?
One?
ONE! And it was was glorious!
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