we were exchanging secrets last night... she told me about how she put markers in her vaj in middle school. found a keeper.
Becky drew a cock on my face and is making me sit on the step.
what did you do that she drew a cock on your face and supplemental questions why did you let her?
I cannot believe you needed a note to remind yourself to ask me about the fourteen sleeping Mexicans.
i just looked at the calendar to see when spring break is and literally stopped eating
there was so much ham clogging the tub drain.. he said it was ok he has a cleaning lady
We have literally factored in $2200 for bail money in the budget. This vegas trip will be out of hand. We are signing confidentiality contracts.
Just watched a drug bust from the Ralphs parking lot while listening to Frank Sinatra. Happy Valentine's Day.
I had a moment while I was smoking where I was looking at these palm trees and I knew how dr Seuss came up with his characters.
Grandpa got a dui while riding a horse. This is what I need to live up to.
I think I met somebody from your birthday this past weekend. He said I held a push up contest outside the bar and told them I would make out with the winner. He said he won..
There has been a song made about you fucking his roommate.
It's destiny.
The stripper was dressed as the green lantern. Even for a geeky girls' bachelorette party it was lame ass.
the wedding party just walked in to the song eye of the tiger. i'm getting drunk.
She has an alarming number of pictures with cat ears but the sex is amazing.
Who fucking spams baby shark at a sports bar
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