if you don't start talking to me i'm gonna tell your gf that you said she tastes bad
i can't believe i had my finger in that
Too late, the blunt's already in my cleavage
you asked "if this appropriate to take the the bathroom?" while holding up a bottle of vodka when you went to pee.
asked the girl next to us on line to take a picture of us and she shared her bacardi. i love white people.
I'm bringing vagina and cookies. You'll be fine.
it's a drink the shower water kind of morning ...
I wonder what chicks would think if they learned that when we add them on fb we email their bikini pics to each other.
Still butthurt there's a framed picture of me passed out on the toilet in my grandparents' living room
I think I'm the only sober person in the whole bar. If you count drinking less than 10 tequilas sober.
My head feels like Jesus is projectile vomiting hammers on it
OUR DIABOLICAL SLUT PLAN HATH COMMENCED!
I feel like I'm in a development meeting for a Lifetime original movie.
Remember last NYE when after the 9th shot of tequila you went on full crazy mode and made out with the 50 y/o doorkeeper? and he called you the next day?
I burned my tit while he banged me and it was still the best kitchen sex EVER!!!
Randomize
