"You squeeze, we tiip biiiiiig" JB
after giving me morning oral, he left saying "hate to eat and run but..." oh yeah, he's getting a second date.
Seriously. Doesn't matter if I went out last night, work is like crafts class w.a side of facebook
I'm looking at pot farms on google earth. Google should be proud I found a real purpose for it to serve.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just bought myself a coach diaper bag. I thought it would be perfect for school. the baby bottle holders are where i'm gonna put my booze
You'll be happy to know that I did indeed fracture my rib in a sex related injury
beyond obliterated. i recall legitimately trying to use a ballpoint pen as eyeliner.
Did you know you could bring s cooler of beer to the nail salon?
Apparently, Mom was less-than-happy about us shotgunning beers before we opened presents.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We found her on a strangers doorstep chanting "I know someone will let me in" it took 2 of us to drag her to the car.
Important update! My next door neighbours have a canoe. Repeat: THEY HAVE A CANOE! We are having sex in it before this summer is over.
I cannot describe the pre-ejaculative horrors thru the medium of text messaging
Yesterday you said I was the best.
No. I said you DID your best. There's a huge difference.
My dad slapped my ass the other day and say I was "doing the family name good". I feel...proud
Nothing says "single girl" quite like Pinot Grigio and canned ravioli at 11:30 pm....
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