That's kind of creepy but I guess since I'm wearing your dad's pants nothing is off limits anymore
She had a bottle of NAIR in her bathroom, but she clearly hadn't been using it.
I never thought that I'd ever use the phrase "and the resulting ice cream explosion" seriously at work...
we had sex three times last night.. but now im just wet from him crying on my stomach about how much he misses his ex.. awesome
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We were walking home when he passed out, we left him. Just got a call from him, hes in a jail in Canada.
why is there a clump of hair nailed to my wall?
that was after you ironed the burrito. didn't leave much cheese on the ironing board though
Tequila bombs in champagne seemed like a good idea at the time.
I think the best part was when you jumped over me naked.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Recycling my beer bottles from breakfast counts for earth day, right?
I think I may be the only girl in the world that can say she has fallen asleep grasping a penis..... 3 different times...... 3 different penises
Take off your clothes and see if he wants to have sex, that's a good way to find out
I just got called the stable friend. This makes me super uncomfortable
I got home and he was wearing a suit. He said he reason was because it was shirt and tie Saturday and that he won't change until midnight. He then proceeded to answer the door in a British accent.
I just want a guy who makes lots of money, has a skilled penis and the sex drive of a 22 year on Viagra. Is that too much to ask?
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