After going down on me he either said "there, it's over" or "there's an odor"... I couldn't hear him and was too embarrassed to ask him to repeat himself. I just got dressed, grabbed my bag, and left. So I don't think there's gunna be a second date. =(
ive never been actively dumping during the pledge of allegiance before today...
she makes me feel like im THAT guy in the taylor swift song
You better get here soon. I'm about to spend $30 on a cactus online
watching elf naked is so much better than watching it with clothes on .
you're the only person i know to use "jizz" and "cute" in the same sentence.
She has puke on the back of her shirt not quite sure how the hell she did that
Apparently I called him, said "vodka" and then hung up on him.
I can't believe you guys got into a sword fight over a chicken nugget
Oh, so that's where all the scratches came from...
Guess who isn't pregnant with a random sex ocean baby?!?!
we're like the harlem globetrotters of underage drinking
Would it be weird to bake him a cake that says "sorry I peed on your bed"?
he just ran into my room in his giant penis costume yelling "supercock to the rescue"... I am still in total shock
You ruined a cute cat because your lack of horniness
The salt made it so good this margarita is touching my soul. I swear I'm not high BUT I want elote in a cup with the insides of a shrimp taco. I think that would make my life complete.
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