I think i sorta joined a cult last night
she woke up with a sticky ear
so we had a 20 minute conversation and created the fb page WWND (what would Nana do?) last night after we took our Ambien...that is my definition of an overachiever
dont touch anything in my room. If its phallus shaped, i can almost guarantee its been in my vagina.
i really wish i had a remote for my computer. its all the way on my bed while im across the hall puking my brains out to enya. not cool.
I can't remember much about walking home last night. I think I kicked a dog.
Just walked into McDonald's and a bunch of fat girls gave me a look like I just entered their territory.
He came so hard he burst a blood vessel in his eye. Do I have to take him to the ER? because I'm too tired for this shit.
holy shit i just had sex in a phone booth i so feel young again
He's carved the words "SLAM STATION" into his headboard...
Whats proper etiquette for apologizing to your wife for being so drunk you stood up and pissed on the bedroom floor next to the bed?
It will be like a scavenger hunt.. only we're looking for places to have sex.
I don't get promposals. When I asked my date I was so drunk I couldn't lift my head. Then I puked on my lawn after he said "ok whatever". That's romance
look, im sorry that i yelled at your little brother, threw my car keys at him and smashed a stale cookie with a pool cue, but i swear to god i didn't poop on the floor. it was one of your dogs.
reminiscing on last night: why the fuck did I feel the need to stand on chairs everytime we took a jello shot?
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