Why are handjobs necessary in class?
i just saw a girl w/ a shirt that said "im the single friend." yeah i bet u r. stop wearing shirts like that and that could change.
Ya know, in a round about way coinstar is just a glorified vending machine for all my bad choices.
You going to have to be more specific than the night we blew an 8ball off the toilet..
i was so fucked up i thought i was at home depot
Really? Uh ohh sounds like a double date with extra stripper funnnn
do you know where my other puke covered boot is
Classic dick move. Breaking up your buddies 3-some by coming into his room and doing the Harlem Shake.
Halloween: the only night of the year wheee the more high I get, the more it compliments my makeup and outfit.
im questioning your sanity while also accepting your reality
Well my mom knows that the welt I had on my forehead last month was the result of a sex accident. This holiday sucks
Somehow my family started talking about sex toys at breakfast.
Bad news man, we're gonna have to reschedule Golden Coral: The Musical
I don't know who the fuck this is, but right on man
Hey I'm trying to get back with my ex I'mm done doing whatever we were doing I hope things workout for you
Weird flex but ok.
If I knew the person sucking my dick didn't say thank you for their Christmas presents I wouldn't be able to cum.
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