i wish peter jackson would direct porn
I don't understand how people can have that much vomit in them
I'm about to take my first shit since thursday. I'm scared. pray for me. If I don't make it, tell my family I love them.
Had to make a piece of abstract art. Your dick is in it
Is it awkward to ask someone I've slept with to officiate my wedding?
Don't mean to be rude. But did you, by any chance, cut down a tree from my neighbors backyard last night? And did you also drag it to my yard and burn it?
I found the hair cut I want on the girl in the porno I'm watching. now really sure how to show my stylist.
sooo what's the appropriate music to listen to after you find out the dude you been fucking, is legit married with kids...what genre is that?
Right but I don't wanna waste the whole weekend not having sex when we could be having sex
Took off my bra at the laundry mat to throw it in I am officially white trash
CRAIGSLIST IS NOT THE ANSWER
IM LONELY AND HORNY
Where are you? Where am I? Why am I so red?
Seriously if we go to rome ur fucking me into the sunset on a wrought iron balcony overlooking Vatican City
He's teaching me French for free and I'm giving him blowjobs. Win-win.
They don't really make a "hey I'm fucking your ex wife" card do they ?
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