Helping a hot freshman girl move in = 2 hours of my life One bottle of cheap vodkas = $10 Watching her do the walk a shame on her first morning away from home = Priceless
dude, never let a drunk girl playbite your dick. the doctor came in laughed and left.
She can't drink and she can't smoke weed. She might as well be dead to me.
Just threw up at the bar from the heat. Fun change of pace.
My last google search was 'bulk asian wives' I don't know either
Does it count if I'm only ambidextrous while masturbating?
Once you mention butt plugs, conversations always take a turn for the worst.
You'd think the dry cleaners next door would be less judgmental for as much business as my theme parties bring them.
I just windexed my mirror headboard, Lets get to work.
Dress was in bathroom covered in shards of glass, earrings on living room floor, bracelet still missing, purse in backyard. The cast of Princess Bride all left the bar to make sure I was ok. Perfect night
She sent me a video of herself sitting in the car stone faced listening to the Titanic song on silence. She won't answer my texts.
Found her grinding on my boss with her tongue down her throat last night. Guess who just got promoted!
Considering I drank for you last night, do you mind picking up your half of the hangover
I woke up with your bra on, and some guys boxers. I'm in a random truck, in the middle of nowhere...
I know right, I would blow him just for the satisfaction he would taste like vodka
Randomize
