I have nothing to say, just wanted ur phone to vibrate
he knocked over the vodka and juice...picks up the cup and says "yes", takes the last sip...doesnt even worry about the mess all over the floor and we continue having sex.
We need to buy some popsicles so we can remind ourselves we're good at this.
You were mounting an escalator last night, shouting "I have no health insurance" at people
I made him recite stats from the playoffs game last night before I would go down on him.
As payment for all the times you have babysat me while im drunk, im giving you the shorts i stole from the guy i stayed with on friday night. They're clean. Come get em.
This was my thought process as I drunkenly ran home: Whoa! I'm going so FAST! Why don't I run EVERYWHERE! ALL THE TIME! Then I peed in a bush and passed out on the ground.
So basically you were a dog.
I. Put. Them. Back. We are NOT making a habit of jail visits.
Craig, a bottle of Jamison, and I had a party on the roof last night. No idea how I got down. My injuries indicate fall...
"It's not a date, we're just spending the entire day at a concert and then getting high together." Awesome.
You have found the Promised Land of friend zones
I have learned that if you don't want to hook up with the guy who walked you home, food is great compensation.
I decided I was tough enough to wax my bikini area myself. Long story short, I'll be drunk when you get home
I had to write an apology letter to my roomate for hotboxing in our bathroom. What a bitch.
Went home with a male stripper who looked like Justin Timberlake.. I started singing cry me a river mid sex. When he sang along I fell in love
I'm eating shredded cheese and chugging coke, until I can function again. I'm tingling everywhere
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