with her its the mind over matter factor, i dont mind and she dont matter
I'm convinced her vagina is similar to chernobyl, but I want to visit it for the novelty value anyway.
16 and pregnant actually makes me really happy that i'm gay
i really wish my pants would only unzip when im sober
how did the keg end up in the top bunk?
they're like a gay fantastic four
Yeah dude I should be out of the ER in about an hr. They gave me vallium. Go tell the captain its time to set sail.
During your work shift I was either: a) stoned. b) high. c)stoned. or d) high.
6 tequila shots, 3 kamikazes and 1 rumplemintz.. The next day I puked in my office trash can while doing payroll. I may have to dock my own pay for lack of class.
I got another blow job proposal last night. Skills.
Don't patronize me, I thought of that on peyote, so it was basically like a message from God.
He came in two seconds and stole my pizza so I'm not counting it.
It's like the drive of shame on fucking Christmas. Happy birthday Jesus
Ok, you agree to the terms? We can have sex, but this doesn't mean we're back together...it just means we're working on things. Got it? Sign here.
I'm drunk and don't know where I am. There's a giant metal penguin if that helps.
Randomize
