Partly cloudy chance of praying to the porcelin gods
The line was so long at Kum n Go some guy opened & drank 2 beers from his 12 pack while waiting.
Woke up to 'distilleries' on the history channel. Proceded to vomit all over the floor. Back on the wagon today.
My cousin had a baby so we have to look at it. Apparently the event is byob
I fed him jelly beans while he fingered me. Win, win situation.
you know what would be perfect? if you flew in on a horse/cat holding taco bell and then you swooped me up and took me to disney world and it was magical
The shit I just took was four, very distinct colors. Jager night was a success
my last clear memory of the night was being offered a shot but having so much alcohol in my hands that someone literally had to pour it in my mouth for me. after that it pretty much skips to waking up face down and shirtless on my floor.
Sounds good. Look at us. Planning sex like proper adults.
come home. i made deep-fried hotdogs; don't let me die alone.
So... I may have accidentally just sat on a strip of a home waxing kit.. naked... Assistance is definitely needed....
Also, if you don't fuck me soon, I will die. I don't want to die like that.
Like either my tits got bigger or I've succumbed to Trumps tiny hand syndrome
You know that pill i snorted last night? Yeh, its just hitting me now..... At work
i woke up and couldnt remember who was in my bed and it was so dark.. i rolled over and started kissing him and feeling his face because hey... if the blind can see like that.. maybe i could too
Randomize
