? is bags or t-bags slang for scrotum?
jesus mom
At the bar. Guy comes up wearing a hollister shirt and says "lets blow this popsicle stand"
You fucking left with him didn't you?!
What happened last night?
You soiled yourself again and told everybody that you'd given birth.
Dude, just paid my sister in vicodin to go out and buy me a slushie.
I queefed so loud it echoed.
Everyone was high fiveing on their a walks of shame home. God im gonna miss college life
Everyone threw up but him. I took off my shirt because I puked on it. There were also a lot of drag queens involved.
Public service announcement: if you would like to continue receiving blow jobs, a 25% increase in fuck-giving will be expected immediately, and you're expected to give an actual flying fuck at least once a week. Brought to you by the ad council.
KEG. KEG. THE OPERA HAS A KEG. KEG STAND IN A TUX. AFTER PARTY RAVE AND KEG STANDS.
If you make 120 dollars and I walk instd of drive and don't eat or smoke this week we can pay rent
I'd have paid money to see Cookie Monster playing with a vibrator
What not to say at an interview: i can wrap the shit out of some food.
and then i signed some dudes back with a turkey hand print in honor of thanksgiving
Already at the river; already getting fucked up. And yes that semicolon is legit because those are congruent statemests
I just threw up again because I opened my eyes... God is laughing. I resorted to taking the Mexican Dramamine because I feel seasick from walking. Not helping.
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