1:12am: That's just how i roll, and this dress she is wearing is dirty and needs to get pulled over her head.
Whatever it was. it was pregnant.
No, I was feeling sad because all of the other girls were like model-skinny. But then I remembered that I had big boobs and went to hit on their boyfriends.
it was just fiscally responsible to stop going to strip clubs where the strippers recognized me
I left boob prints on the hood of his car. Something to remember me by.
We were on the balcony tossing jello shots to people passing below
When people said no i'd yell "i tried them i promise they aren't roofied!"
I just saw that blonde chick you wanna bang rolling down the hall wearing a Thor mask..
Wow. We're meant to be..
She sat on the toilet backwards so that she could hold onto the back part for balance. No she's not ready to go home.
We did it in the bathroom in Taco Bell. We didn't buy anything before we left, which I thought was rude.
I finally got the glitter off in time to get to the party and bang the bday boy in the bathroom while his girlfriend was lighting the bday cake candles.
Im wearing a bra. Made of paint.
And your boyfriend doesn't mind you constantly taking pictures of his dick just to freak out your brother?
its more like he's accepted that he can't stop me
Serious question: is he hot or is my vagina just that barren?
If you get me a sex toy for Christmas everyone in my family will question our relationship.
You told everyone to shut up then told the officer that you are 21 when you drink.
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