Fyi: he's overweight and balding. My biological clock is ticking so loud I can't hear the TV.
just once id like to meet someone on craigslist who isnt fat
i say over christmas we have a beer pong competition with the cousins and see who really has the best genes in the family.
just threw all of the fireworks into the bonfire. thats why there are firetrucks.
Just so you know I would totally fuck you. Does that count as a feeling?
what is it with giant penises always finding me
I had some like war flashbacks of giving someone a handjob and i was trying to figure out who it was.
I drunkenly asked a stripper to join our volleyball team.
Home. Hour long discussion with mom. Very frightened. Eating a sausage. Don't remember making it. Confused.
I can now tell my grandchildren Central Park has really great spots for quickies...
I actually don't know if I can stand up. I just know better than to try
I drove two hours just to throw up on myself today at the beach. My family saw the whole thing and my younger cousin cried
The Easter dress struggle is real
Yep. Just had to pull mine off to puke.
He suffocated between her tits, but she didn't notice because he still came.
He just flipped the beer pong table and set the ceiling fan on fire things are about to get crazy
Randomize
