im gay
i know
yea but for you.
FYI-Owning a kitty significantly lowers your chances of ever seeing mine...
it tastes like there's a party in my mouth and everyone is throwing up
She gave him HEAD floating down the river in a tube as big a a tire. I just don't know how to compete with that sort of level of slut.
Just checked my recent transactions online. Between the hours of 1 and 3am on September 30th, I went to 7/11 4 times. Unacceptable.
idk but i have you stored in my phone as 'guy with beard doing body shots'
He used his one phone call to tell me not to let anyone drink all his vodka until he could bail himself out.
Aqua-barf. When you are about to puke in the toilet but pass out face first instead...and then puke. WITH YOUR FACE IN THE BOWL. There is no escaping the puke ring you have on your face. I know first hand.
You can't buy drugs with a ziplock bag full of quarters, chuck-e-cheese coins, and a starbucks giftcard.
watch me
the number of desperate girls at the gym right now is unfair. it would be cruel not to let one blow me.
Thank god I didn't get free from the hospital restraints. I wouldent have lasted long drunk, startled and in an ass-less gown In D.C.
GET ME OUT OF HERE THE DOCTOR KNOWS HE IS JUDGING ME I DEMAND A PRISON BREAK
I would eat the Denny's grand slam special out of my new probation officers b hole
It’s like a buffet of marriages! Every option is available to you!
Okay, maybe filling water balloons with vodka was not our best idea.
Randomize
