I'm sitting at the gyno watching cnn in the waiting room
Everyone is walking funny when they come out, ugh I'm not looking forward to this
I have to get up uber early tomorrow. Which is why I started drinking early today
she had the hairiest bush ive ever seen. it looked like a spoiled head of lettuce.
My insides feel lik shag carpet. It is awesome
please dont pick me up from the airport dressed like a terrorist.
Guess who just hooked up with the cop that fingerprinted her?
i just remembered i chipped my tooth last night when i pulled up your pants zipper with my teeth
Its become more of a routine.. Whenever I get done eating and have left overs I just take it over to his house and throw it all over the walls and windows. Pay backs a bitch ehhhh
nothing says "you're fucked" like watching a movie with the family and a handle of vodka comes crashing down from your hiding spot in the ceiling tiles.
If you have shit your pants within the past two years, please take a seat.
You're just gonna have to make the sacrifice man.
I'm trying to hide in the table.
Can't find our DD
He's backstage giving the strippers foot massages.They kidnapped him the moment he walked thru the door.
His mom said he was in the ER and asked for prayers and positive thoughts. Apparently, me wishing the clap on him is not what she had in mind.
We had sex on his grandparents floor... the taxidermy deer was staring at me the whole time!
She's just a lonely cunt and i hope she stays that way for the rest of her fucking life.
This seems like an over reaction to someone eating your fries.
Randomize
