: south campus drug res life name erik. Love, tran
you were making out, puked over his shoulder and insisted everything was okay
Drinking down Plan B with a 5 hour energy. Winding down welcome week in style.
He went down on me while I had rollers in my hair. I've never felt more like a lady.
He ran into the room yelling "attack! Attack!", jumped on top of me on the air mattress, popped the air mattress, and then we had victory sex, because he was proud of popping it.
I think I ruined his life by managing to get his initiation nickname for his frat to be "Whiskey Dick" but I still wish herpes on him and his fugly new girlfriend.
Also cheers for the reminder to check last night's texts. It's been a magical adventure through drunk me's thought process.
I can't find the remote or the Doritos. Someone call 911. S.O.S. I sent this in Braille.
He said we were over, wrote my name on the condom he left in my car last night and said he'd always keep it in case I came back. It was kind of romantic
bought a large fruitopia from McDonalds at 7:45 this morning. Spilled it on the ground. Cried. THAT hungover.
Weddings might be fun but they are not getting fucked in the wilderness fun.
Why were you twerking to, "The Wheels on the Bus"?
I'm thankful I didn't get drunk and shit my pants this year. 🦃
You took off your shirt and pulled out a bottle of cherry uv and a slushee. That's when I knew you came to party
We had sex in Lake Michigan for an hour Sunday.
Thanks for ruining an entire lake for me. I hate you so much right now.
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