Who haven't you slept with?
No one comes to mind.
I just wanna be some guy's midlife crisis
I just puked in an auto zone parking lot. I'm never eating peanut butter and red wine for dinner again.
Turns out I'm like the Wayne Gretzky of hiding cum. Who knew?
how do you tell a roommate that having sex on your bottom bunk is not appropriate even if she has a top bunk that's hard to climb to?
not allowed to tweet this cos she's following me but i definitely just got head in a stairwell of the university of chicago. wanted you all to know.
Dnt forget 40 tuesday,dress nice! Like job interview nice, like funeral nice, like a couple muhfuckas sittin on their lawn drinkin forties on a tuesday nice!
There's two sisters at this place and they look competitive. Try for a threesome tonight?
drunk freshman in the bathroom puking keeps saying "i'm a peasant" over and over
The sad thing was my husband told her its ok to make out with me. Bar Tuesdays will live on regardless.
The condition was that I had to eat her out to Beethoven
Soooooo I may or may not have accidentally been a catalyst in a destroyed marriage.
how do i act around someone who's shoes i puked in while naked and blackout?
we were clicking our heels together saying theres no place like home, while the cops were tellin us to call our parents and tell them what happened.
I'm her ex, so unless you're interested in her massive moral failings and open season vagina, I'm not your guy.
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