wow wtf my bar tab was 80 dollars
IT WAS DOLLAR BEER NIGHT
His facebook profile says he's interested in men, but i'm choosing to ignore that
Learn some fucking English or leave me alone! "Your" is for something that belongs to you, like 'your herpes'. And "you're" is a contraction for "you are", like "you're not sleeping with me".
His sex texting was like a step by step guide to the most boring sex ever...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you freaked out because you thought your face lotion was cum in a bottle
we just watched the ball drop on the spanish channel. best mistake of my life.
How far into the semester do we have to be before it's ok to get drunk in between classes again?
i spelled "betch" that way on purpose, don't question my abilities as a drunk texter
Psh a bachelors degree is the new adulthood. We're all just pretending anyways. I'm sitting on my boyfriends couch while he's passed out drunk. In my lap. On a Wednesday. And he's a nurse. See, pretending to be an adult
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Got a minor my first day of college from the bike police. I'm gonna like it here
Executive order 941: BRING ME THE FINEST PANCAKES!
You have got to stop watching the West Wing before going out.
I walked in and found you petting your fish outside the bowl, you said its fine, you do this all the Time.
Tolerating him while I'm not drunk is like trying to find a word that rhymes with orange
i'll talk to you in three hours when you've stopped foaming at the mouth and your eyes have rolled back into place
Potholders are an underrated garment. Especially naked.
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