: south campus drug res life name erik. Love, tran
I was so drunk last night, I had to Wikipedia what i did.
He's married, a coworker, and a smoker. not sure which personal rule broken i'm most ashamed of...
I walked into the garage and you were telling the bikes that you were not that drunk.
Her life is proof that being a drunken slut will get you places.
I feel like this is the moment of high where you have to write these texts down to remember to text them and feel that somehow this is important to the continuity of the world.
Im organizing a group to help fondle my shoe. Too many shots dude. Too many.
My mom is lecturing me about 'invaluable housekeeping skills' while I google 'cocktails involving gin' on my phone. I can feel the generational gap looming in her silent judgment of my choices.
Let me be the 15% helpful, 85% useless as shit angel on your shoulder.
At least now when I say "never again" the likelihood is that it won't actually happen again the next weekend...that my friend is called growth
At tuba camp, the pickings are slim. It's like being the tallest midget.
I was telling everyone at the frat that they had to try the "fantastic refreshment" that was everclear, vodka and country time
I was watching porn and wanted to change the tab to another video to cum but I clicked the wrong tab and it was a gif of a dog but I was coming and couldn't do anything so did I jill off to a dog? I feel like I should be guilty
Dude, she set my Tinder preference to men, set the radius to 100 miles, and used up all of my right swipes. I think she's mad.
Literally just sitting around waiting for someone to come along and fuck my chakras back into alignment
Randomize
