Can Purell be used as lube?
i've decided to use this saturday afternoon to take care of my pube situation
I negotiated the purchase of an entire tray of like 50 jello shots for $8.
You should probably wake up already as I have yet another story for you. Teaser? Blood from knife wound. Tequila. Guitar hero. Kitchen counter. Lawyer.
Oh my god it just tripped me out that I used to be a baby, I had to tell you.
A picture just appeared on facebook. I am puking in the toilet, you are next to me puking in the sink. I think we have our christmas card.
I think im definitely allergic to shell fish. Or hungover. Probably both.
Fuck a-yeah! I just found a wine key. Let 'Don't Fuck With Me Friday' commence.
Just served breakfast to a bunch of hella drunk kids. They kidnapped the birthday boy for his 21st and he was wearing a disney onesy and bunny ears. They've been drinking since before dawn, why don't we have friends like that?
the girl peeing in the stall next to mine has really cute shoes. on a scale of 1 to restraining order, how weird would it be to compliment them from in here?
It's stupid hot. I just want to be laying in a bathtub full of margaritas
i feel like i am made of mashed potatoes. i love cannabis pills so. fucking. much.
We're trying to make our wedding vows nice but meeting on OkCupid fucks that up entirely.
How far are you from my house? Do I have time to masturbate before you get here?
The bartender remember my drink from last sat. I think we just became drocals...drunk. locals.
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